For All The Wrong Reasons by Brownell Rachael

Author:Brownell, Rachael
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Rachael Brownell Books
Published: 2020-03-15T16:00:00+00:00

I stand under the ice-cold spray until I can’t feel my toes. Gabby is knocking on the bathroom door, urging me to hurry the hell up, as I shut the water off. Wrapping a towel around my waist, I tug the door open and find her waiting for me across the hall, leaning against the wall casually. She’s dressed in dark skinny jeans, a tight sweater, and tall boots. Her hair is pulled into a knot on the top of her head. It’s messy, but I think that’s the way it’s supposed to look.

“It’s about time.”

“You act like I’ve been in there for hours.”

“I think thirty minutes is plenty long enough to get clean.”

Damn. I didn’t realize I was in there that long.

“I guess it’s a good thing I went first or there wouldn’t have been any hot water left for me,” she says, pushing off the wall and tugging her overnight bag higher on her shoulder. If she knew how cold of a shower I just took, her smile would be ten times the size it already is. “I’ll be downstairs.”

As she disappears from view, the click of her heels on the hardwood fading, I try and regain my focus on the day ahead of us. I’m taking her to lunch. A date. A real one where I open the door for her, pull out her chair, and ensure she feels special.

I’m doing this for her. It’s not for show or to prove to people that we’re dating. It’s not an act. I’m doing this because she deserves it. And honestly, I’m doing it for myself too.

I want to know what it feels like to be on a date with her. To have her arm looped through mine. For people to look up and admire us together. Whisper to each other that we’re a cute couple. People who have no stake in our relationship or any reason to care if we’re together or not.

Selfish is the first word that comes to mind as I drop my towel to rummage through my drawers for a clean pair of socks. Selfish for wanting to be with her. Selfish for not telling her how I really feel.

Most of all, selfish for getting us in this mess in the first place. It’s the truth, after all. I wanted Kara so badly I basically extorted Gabby’s despair and promised her she’d have everything she’d ever dreamed of. She’d win Gavin back. Her future would be bright again.

At the root of all those promises was a vision I had of something similar. A life with Kara. One where she was as in love with me as I thought I was with her.

What I didn’t realize at the time, was that by making someone else jealous, the feelings they were experiencing weren’t love. Lust, maybe. Desire, probably. But love is not an emotion you can control. You love with your heart, with your soul, with every fiber in your body. You have to be willing to share all of yourself with the other person.

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